Infectious Hope: Derek Webb’s I Was Wrong, I’m Sorry & I Love You
When I was in high school, my dad was a member of the BMG Music Club, and every so often, they ran these silly deals where you could get something like ten CDs for the price of one. Since I was a rabid music nerd and my dad wasn’t, he would usually let me pick out eight or nine of the CDs he ordered. Well, some time in 1999, I randomly picked out an album by Caedmon’s Call called 40 Acres, and that is how I first heard Derek Webb. To make a very long and meaningful story short, Derek has become one of my very favorite artists, his music has been the soundtrack to very important seasons in my life, and I will buy every record he puts out until he dies. So, you could rightly say that I am biased.
Derek’s new album, I Was Wrong, I’m Sorry & I Love You, officially releases on September 6 (though you can preorder now at derekwebb.com and get an immediate download of the record). According to Derek, the new record is a follow-up to his 2003 solo debut, She Must and Shall Go Free, which wrestled with the questions of the individual’s role in the church and the church’s role in culture. I Was Wrong… poses the same questions a decade later.
Every one of Derek’s records have been different lyrically and musically–to such a degree that the only thing you could predict about his music is that it would, in his words, agitate. He has often expressed the desire to not repeat himself and to be constantly evolving as an artist. So, I was honestly surprised when he announced the premise behind I Was Wrong… because it sounded like he was doing something outside of his character. Of course, this record has proven to be anything but the case. Somehow, Derek has managed to acknowledge and celebrate his past while leaning hard into the future.
Sonically, you can hear echoes of Derek’s past albums throughout the new record: a healthy dose of acoustic guitar (like She Must and Shall Go Free and Mockingbird), Revolver-era-Beatlesy electric guitar on “Closer” (reminiscent of The Ringing Bell), upright piano on “Nothing But Love” (similar in tone to Feedback‘s “Lead Us Not Into Temptation”), freeform time on “I Measure the Days” (which sounds like something a shape-note choir would have sung in samples on Ctrl), and fun, funky programmed drums throughout (a la Stockholm Syndrome). But nothing sounds recycled or safe. It sounds like a sonic portrait of a man who has made a wide spectrum of music and who is still chasing sounds that excite him.
I Was Wrong… is by far the most introspective and personal music Derek has made since his lonely, single days in Caedmon’s Call. Webb’s songs have a history of stepping on people’s toes, and he has always maintained that his toes come first–that he was turning over tables in his own living room before pointing the finger at anyone else. I’ve always believed that to be true, but it has never been more apparent than with this batch of songs.
Derek seems at his most vulnerable when he confesses, “‘It isn’t you, it’s me,’ indefensibly, I say,” in “Nothing But Love.” In “Heavy,” Derek openly wrestles with his struggle between faith and unbelief in daily life. Often invoking the imagery of the prodigal son to describe himself, Derek uses several of these songs (especially “Eye of the Hurricane” and “A Place At Your Table”) to explore the idea of finding home and hope and grace in Christ after running and wandering. Though these tunes definitely have implications for the church as a whole, the fingers are very plainly and honestly pointing at himself.
Provoking conversations about the things no one wants to discuss seems to be one of Derek’s primary artistic drives, which can be simultaneously inspiring and draining. Whether he is dealing with politics, church corruption, peace, prejudice, or addiction, considering these weighty thoughts can just wear you out after a while. On I Was Wrong…, Derek seems to shift his tone by approaching these same problems through a lens of passionate, unabashed, and infectious hope. “Everything Will Change,” which is perhaps the crux of the record, is what Derek describes as a protest song against his own cynicism: “One day you’ll wake, and the curse will break/ and even you won’t be the same/ Your hope is not wasted on the day when everything will change.”
In today’s “Christian” music industry, a lot of importance is placed on songs being positive, encouraging, and overtly spiritual, which often results in a sanitary, warm, fuzzy picture of life…a distortion of reality. With I Was Wrong, I’m Sorry, & I Love You, Derek manages to be forthright about the brokenness of the human condition and the struggle of every day living, but he does so in faith, faith that things won’t stay the way they are. This music is positive and encouraging but not trite. It’s real. And real is what I need.
Savoring the Sound 